Spiritual Narcissist – The wolf in sheep’s clothing

Having recently come back from India I thought my first blog on my spiritual journey would be about all the great places I saw when I was visiting there. But in light of certain events that have unfolded, that one will have to come a bit later. I’m much more concerned to spread the word about a new kind of threat for people looking for connection and answers on their spiritual path. This person is what I’d like to call the spiritual narcissist.

I never even knew what the word spiritual narcissist meant until a month ago when I realized I was face to face with one for a small period of time while away exploring spirituality, ashram and meditation centers in India. I’d also like to say before I start that India itself was absolutely wonderful, most of the people I met there were very kind and wonderful and this is not about India at all 🙂 As more and more people are interested in spiritual growth and looking outside for guidance and help in what direction to take in doing so, I feel the need to talk about how this can go awry when exposed to the wrong person which happened to myself and a group of friends recently.

What is a spiritual narcissist? This type of person will claim they are here for a special purpose here on earth in this lifetime and have a direct connection to God or Source. (newsflash – we all have a special purpose here on earth and we are all connected to source, we just don’t always believe it)

This type of person will also claim that they can put you on the fast track to enlightenment, and while there may be some lightbulb moments that go off when meditating or healing a trauma, no one can speed up your growth for you. Growth is done through experiences, trial and error, making mistakes and learning from them, and emotional breakthroughs. Anyone who says they can get you closer to enlightenment “faster” is a liar.

This type of person will also claim because they may seem to have psychic abilities that this means they are an enlightened being. Everyone has this ability, some have worked on it more than others however being psychic is never about how conscious you are. As your consciousness grows and you become more self-aware, you will become more intuitive however I know many people who are psychic that are seemingly unconscious. They will also tell you what you should do with your life, how you should live it, who’s good for you and who’s not good for you, they will also try to point out bad things about other people that are simply not true and place doubt in your mind to remove you from close friends.

This type of person will only offer one path to help you…which is their path and will put down anything else you say or bring up in conversation by saying: you need to be careful with others teachings, or I know what’s best for you in your situation. (the only person who knows what’s best for YOU in every situation is YOU!) A true spiritual teacher knows that there are many paths in learning, in fact the more the better. In following one person it puts you in a box which will actually stunt your growth.

This type of person can be extremely charming and uses techniques like love bombing or shaming to make their target feel extreme love or extreme shame. Some examples of love bombing I saw and heard firsthand many times used on many different people were: we have known each other before, we have been soul mates in other lifetimes, you are so special to me, excessive attention etc. This is when the narcissist is grooming you to follow them and can also include cording techniques which can send an energy of love to the other person. You feel special as no one pays attention to you in this way and it feels good and they try to fill any void you may have. They usually prey on empaths and people in vulnerable moments or people who have big hearts as they tend to fall for this kind of behaviour easily. After watching this person say the same lines over and over again to many different people it gets old very fast, and while I am a believer in soul connections, I could plainly see this person was not being authentic at all. Using the shaming technique is equally effective as this type of person will make you feel ashamed of your beliefs and try to make you want to change them.

And finally we have gaslighting, this is when as you get to know this person and you begin to see inconsistencies, lies, them evading answering your questions etc., and you start to question or call them out on it. Once they feel you are not under their control they immediately will start to criticize you insult you or start to spread negative truth about you and create self-doubt and doubt with others if in a group setting. They will also cut off relationships with anyone at a moments notice who does not follow what they say, and will defend their behaviour while smearing the name of that person.

There are probably more examples of a spiritual narcissist out there, I have picked the ones I’ve witnessed first hand and can see how damaging it is when used on people in a very short period of time. If you are faced with a situation or scenario like any of the above examples – run don’t walk away! A true spiritual teacher is humble, patient and understanding and is emotionally stable as he/she no longer is driven by ego and understands that everyone is at their own step on their path. Lastly any true spiritual teacher will not try to coerce and shame people into spending money on anything and will not want to keep you following them around forever. The art of spiritual teaching is to set people free, follow their spirit and explore life…not keep them bound to one thing!

Id love to hear your comments if you’ve had similar experiences …